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Criminals as of lately are getting smarter with how they perform their crimes, from breaking into a bank through an air duct to ripping apart an ATM machine by pulling it off its hinges with a truck. As if that were bad enough, a city in a Tokyo district with a population of just over 500,000 faced 1,710 break-ins in 2002, setting some sort of crazy record.

Obviously this really pissed off the Japanese, so they dropped their sushi and samurai swords and got their heads together to figure out how to solve the problem. Obviously more cops wouldn’t be terribly effective, nor would arming their citizens better. No. Their solution:

Flowers.

It looks so innocent, but don’t let it fool you

The Japanese started “Operation Flower” about 3 years ago. I’m sure the not-scary name came along just to fool the bastard criminals trying to rob stuff. Interestingly, these flowers don’t have tiny security cameras attached to them, nor do they have motion-sensing devices, and no, they don’t explode, dammit!

The whole idea is actually pretty basic. See, they encourage inhabitants to place the flowers facing the street, because they figured out that if you can’t see the criminals then you can’t catch them. Downright genius, isn’t it?

But hey guess what, it actually works. It brought down crime almost 80% since 2002. Now I really want to call bullsh*t on this, because seriously, do Japanese people really give that much of a damn about flowers to be tending to them for enough time to thwart any possible evildoer? I really want some feedback on that.

But for my American readers, remember the gun-control issue going around in the senate and stuff from time to time? Maybe we should just tell Obama to use a few billion dollars more on flowers. I can already envision a catch phrase for it:

“F3@r Flowers”

If this ever happens, Wacky Issues invented it, I’ll even add a trademark sign.

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The Swiss are known for being neutral for the past couple hundred years and having a weapon stored inside every boxer, sock, and hat. Now we add another to that list, they like cow fighting.

In Grimentz, Switzerland, the ancient ritual of glorified cow fighting occurs every summer. They even have judges rating the fights that occur in the premises. A tiny fun fact is that the cows themselves decided to fight, not their owners.

You see these cows are fiercely territorial, with leadership being selected through who is best in battle. There have been unconfirmed reports from doubtful sources (me) that the real reason they fight is because they have the Mad Swiss Cow disease. And because they hate neutrality.

The locals say that it is rare for the cows to hurt each other, which is equivalent to saying you won’t get wet when you jump in the pool. Unfortunately, the winner doesn’t get anything in return for her cow-fighting prowess, she just returns to her herd as a queen, imaginary crown and all.

If the owner decides to sell the queen cow he gets a nice-looking $30,000 for his effort, with about $0.00 going to the real winner. One of the added benefits is that the owner of the cow becomes more respected than the mayor of the town, which hints that the Mad Swiss Cow disease affects humans too.

While the villagers take the sport very seriously, the times when they depended on their cows to live are long gone, and today it is quite common to see the owners of the animals driving cars. This proves that the modern world needs a sport that does not depend on the person at all so that couch potatoes can get 30 grand for whatever they want.

I’ll be first in line.

Liked our content?  Well stay tuned in the Wacky Issues section for our funniest articles.  Alternatively, head over to our home site at Wacky-Issues, where we have more wacky news and silly media to keep you entertained.

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