A Great Failblog with EPIC Fail Pictures, Videos, and News Updated Daily for Your FAIL Pleasure!

  • Hi. Can I domesticate you?
  • Hi. My name is {name}. I’m running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here…write down your number and I’ll call you to discuss my platform.
  • I don’t know you, but I think I love you already.
  • I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.
  • I envy your lipstick.
  • I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  • I have only three months to live.
  • Click here to read more pick-up lines »

What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?
A1: Corduroy.
A2: Velcro.

Why is all of Helen Keller’s face burnt?
She was bobbing for french fries.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other side of her face?
They called back.

Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet?
Her dog was blind too.

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
She needs the other to moan with.

How did she burn her fingers?
Reading the waffle iron

What did she do when she fell down the well?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

How come she didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens

Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide?
You would too if your name was ‘Urghrrghrghr’.

Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
Wind it up and it walks into walls.

What’s this (slowly waving fingers)?
Helen Keller moaning

Who is the cruelest man in the world?
The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn’t
scream for help.
Click here to read more Helen Keller jokes »

  • All this could be yours for one low, low price!
  • Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  • Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
  • Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.
  • As she’s leaving…. Hey aren’t you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
  • Ask a woman for the time. “10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you.”
  • Baby did you fart, ’cause you blow me away!
  • Click here to read more pick-up lines »

FAIL Fun Affiliates!

Ways to Follow FAIL!

  • Feedburner Readers for FAIL Fun