Even though it is completely in Japanese, this thing is hilarious! In the USA it was released as Apocalypse Meow. Very funny stuff…
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, “Did you call for me?” The man replies, “No, what do you mean?” She says, “You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.” Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
The man continues to explore the colony’s facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.
Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, “Did you call for me?” says the hairy man.
“No, what do you mean?” says the newcomer. “You must be new,” says the hairy man, “it’s a rule that if you fart, it
implies that you called for me.” The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, “May I help you?” she says. The man yells, “Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.”
“But, Sir,” she replies, “you’ve only been here for a few hours. You haven’t had the chance to see all our facilities.” The man replies, “Listen lady, I’m 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day.”
LOL! This video is hilarious and it has gone viral in just a few short days. Very funny!
HHHHot Pocket! I can honestly say I have never had a Hot Pocket before. I think it’s my fear of pizza rolls that makes me not want a Hot Pocket either. Thank you Jim Gaffigan for this hilarious bit though!
Q: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A: Ate something?
Q: But do you know what 6.9 is?
A: A good thing screwed up by a period.
Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don’t have balls to scratch.
Q; Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader?
A: They both suck for four quarters.
Q: What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn’t?
A: Her navel.
Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is using a feather….kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q: When does a cub become a boy scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q: What does a rubix cube and a Penis have in common?
A: The more you play with it the harder it gets.
Q: Whats the difference between lust, love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargaling.
Q: What does the toothbrush say to the hair brush.
A: I get more head than you.
