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And What you should say instead!

10. “You must play the trumpet because you sure made me horny!”

Why it’ll get you maced: Some girls are insecure about not being able to play a musical instrument. Don’t put them on the spot like that.

What you should’ve said: You have the ass of a great artist.

9. “Are you from Tennessee, because you’re the only ten I see!”

Why it’ll get you maced: It’s a tired line may as well put a lampshade on your head. And how many girls have you tried it on that were actually from Tennessee?

What you should’ve said: *Snap fingers, point at your crotch*

8. “Hi, I’ve been undressing you with my eyes all night long and I think it’s about time to see if I’m right.”

Why it’ll get you maced: No girl wants to hear that you’ve been mentally undressing them. It’s creepy. They deserve more respect than that.

What you should’ve said: “Nice dress, it’ll look great crumpled up in a plastic bag, and covered in blood.”

7. “You have pretty eyeballs. Of course, they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.”

Why it’ll get you maced: Again, it’s disrespectful. No girl likes to be talked down to, and no one, NO ONE has pretty balls. Even Brad Pitt’s look like two tiny hairy hanging inverted footballs with most of the air let out.

What you should’ve said: Nothing. Simply walk up to her, whip out your penis, and begin flapping it madly while singing, “Hello my baby, hello my darling!”

6. “You are the hottest thing since sunburn.”

Why it’ll get you maced: Girls hear that all the time. Be specific, compliment her hair, her purse, the way her dress or shoes match her eyes. Be original, and be a getleman.

What you should’ve said: “George Bush is hella stupid. But enough about politics. Let’s talk about your bush. I bet it’s hella stupid.”

5. “Congratulations! You’ve just been voted Most Beautiful Girl in this Room and the grand prize is a night with me!”

Why it’ll get you maced: Girls love winning prizes. Girls hate disappointment. And even though you think you’re a hell of a catch, she just got the first impression that you’re desperate. And corny. If you’re going to put yourself out there like that, be a bit more entertaining. Try a magic trick.

What you should’ve said: “I can move objects with my mind. But first, they must be thrown from my hand. Here, let me show you – is this your dog?”

4. “Is someone at the door or is that just my heart pounding at the sight of you?”

Why it’ll get you maced: You think you’re smooth, clever, and witty. In your mind, you’re George Clooney. In her mind, your that stereotypical greasy guy in a leisure suit, tiny mustache, and gold chain. Not cool. Yes, be witty, even funny, but if it ain’t from the heart, it’s just a bad pick-up line. Be honest for once.

What you should’ve said: “Of all the women in the bar, you looked to me like the most likely to f*ck a stranger. I believe that honesty is the most important part of a relationship. Ironic that I’m using these very words to try and trick you into sucking my wang.

3. “You’re so sweet I’m getting a cavity just looking at you.”

Why it’ll get you maced: Again, it’s tired, it’s used, it’s corny, and you come off as some kind of pervert. You want to compliment her in an honest, open manner. You wouldn’t want a guy to use that line on your sister would you? Neither does she. Introduce yourself, tell her you think she’s attractive, in a positive, non-creepy way, and tell a funny little joke.

What you should’ve said: I’m the only guy in the room who’s drunk enough to not consider you hideous and grotesque. Let’s face it, I’m your best and only option, and If you ever cheat on me, I’ll kill you both. Do you understand me? Don’t look at the floor – look at me. Do you understand me?

2. “Two trains are leaving their stations at the same time. Both need to travel 1,000 miles. If train ‘A’ is going 95 miles per hour, and train ‘B’ is going 85 miles per hour, how long will it take for you to go out with me?”

Why it’ll get you maced: It’s just too long. You made a good effort, it’s witty, but in a loud club with the music thumping, by the third time she screams “what?!” she already lost interest, and the joke isn’t funny. Keep it short and sweet.

What you should’ve said: I want to f*ck you where farts come from. If you know what I mean.

1. “Hey, gorgeous! You’re so electrifying the power company is looking for you.”

Why it’ll get you maced: Again, it’s a tired line, and it’s such a random compliment that she knows it got cast more times than a fisherman’s hook without any bait. Personalize it. Be honest and open. Make it feel like the compliment was for her, and her alone.

What you should’ve said: “Do you ever have the feeling you’re being watched, Cheryl? Because you are. There will never be a time when you’re not being watched. I’m sorry about your pet’s passing. I know you didn’t mention Sparky.” *long stare*

Via the funny guys at Whip It Out Comedy!

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