Archive for the ‘Weird News’ Category
Some fishermen catch simple salmon, while those most experienced in the craft go for big catches like marlins, sharks, and whales. Well 10 days ago Rodney Soloman said “screw you all, I can do better”.
And better it was, much better – much more explosive too. If you are sitting there wondering what type of fish would be so god-damned amazing besides a giant 20 feet octopus, then wonder no more. It wasn’t a fish.
Octopus can’t beat that
It was a missile. A live missile. Live as in “I’m going to blow up in your face because you piss me off”. And yet Mr. Soloman reeled it in and kept it in his boat for 10 days until he dropped it off at the city of St. Petersburg.
A bomb squad was immediately called in – likely crapping their pants in fear – and successfully disarmed it in an empty parking lot. According to the reports:
“the missile was very corroded from floating in saltwater for a long time. It was live and in a very unstable state.”
Please note the “very unstable state”. Poor Rodney was probably just a sneeze away from blowing himself to smithereens.
Anyone here would like to dare the suicidal Iranian woman to take that bomb and hit it with a hammer?
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The Swiss are known for being neutral for the past couple hundred years and having a weapon stored inside every boxer, sock, and hat. Now we add another to that list, they like cow fighting.
In Grimentz, Switzerland, the ancient ritual of glorified cow fighting occurs every summer. They even have judges rating the fights that occur in the premises. A tiny fun fact is that the cows themselves decided to fight, not their owners.
You see these cows are fiercely territorial, with leadership being selected through who is best in battle. There have been unconfirmed reports from doubtful sources (me) that the real reason they fight is because they have the Mad Swiss Cow disease. And because they hate neutrality.
The locals say that it is rare for the cows to hurt each other, which is equivalent to saying you won’t get wet when you jump in the pool. Unfortunately, the winner doesn’t get anything in return for her cow-fighting prowess, she just returns to her herd as a queen, imaginary crown and all.
If the owner decides to sell the queen cow he gets a nice-looking $30,000 for his effort, with about $0.00 going to the real winner. One of the added benefits is that the owner of the cow becomes more respected than the mayor of the town, which hints that the Mad Swiss Cow disease affects humans too.
While the villagers take the sport very seriously, the times when they depended on their cows to live are long gone, and today it is quite common to see the owners of the animals driving cars. This proves that the modern world needs a sport that does not depend on the person at all so that couch potatoes can get 30 grand for whatever they want.
I’ll be first in line.
Liked our content? Well stay tuned in the Wacky Issues section for our funniest articles. Alternatively, head over to our home site at Wacky-Issues, where we have more wacky news and silly media to keep you entertained.
