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What would you do if you had a million dollars? Hell, actually, what would you do if you had anything over 500 dollars?

If it was up to the majority of people in the world, they would spend that money until their bank accounts were in the negatives: they would travel across the world, eat incredible food, and get wasted in VIP areas.

Then again, I’m sure most of you have hidden Playboy or Game Informer magazines hidden under your mattresses. Or maybe the photo of that girl or guy who is just so damned hot. Or maybe you have a grand total of 1 million dollars stashed there.

Wait, what?

Oh yes my friends, that Israeli woman had 1 million dollars stashed in her mattress. Best part of this story?

She threw it away by accident.

She could use one of these

That’s right, the Israeli woman bought the mattress for her elderly mother, then, as any rational person would do, threw the old mattress away – the one with the crap load of money. The morning after she made the wise connection that she had just given away her own life earnings, she screamed in terror.

If you are wondering why she put such a giant amount of money in her mattress in the first place, it was apparently because she had “traumatic experiences with banks” in the past. Seriously, at least bank savings are not “mobile”, shall we say.

You may find her today searching for her mattress in a trash dump in Tel Aviv containing 2500 tons of filthy garbage.

I’m not kidding.

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In the hard recession times we are facing today, one must look for alternatives in the ways the make money. Some become more focused in work to avoid being fired while others work more hours. Of course, however, there are always the smart-asses who think they can get away with breaking the law.

And these two almost did.


Almost.

Thomas Parking, 49, has been impersonating his mom for the past 6 years. Impersonating to the point of dressing like her and getting a wig, whilst getting a friend to pose for him. And he was getting away with this, for six long, benefit-filled damn years.

Over that time frame, he collected over $50,000 from her Social Security checks and an extra 65,000 in rent subsidies through claiming he had a disability and that his mother was alive and his landlord.

“Parkin used his friend Rimolo to pose as the mother’s nephew when going to cash checks and do other business, prosecutors said. A security camera photo from the DMV office shows a frail-looking Parkin in a wig and dark glasses, Rimolo by his side, as he fills out paperwork.”

Eventually Parkin got greedy, like most criminals, and decided to sue the owner of his mother’s home, which had been sold at foreclosure back in 2003. For all future criminals out there – I don’t endorse your acts, by the way – please be smart, if you are committing a criminal act, then don’t draw attention to yourself . It’s common sense fellas.

Anyhow eventually the two sides sued each other of fraud – see draw attention – and the opposite side figured out that the mother had been dead for 6 years and reported it to the investigators.

They arranged a meeting, and Parking arrived “wearing a red cardigan, lipstick, manicured nails and breathing through an oxygen tank,”.

That must have been a cool story to tell their office mates.

Liked our content?  Well stay tuned in the Wacky Issues section for our funniest articles.  Alternatively, head over to our home site at Wacky-Issues, where we have more wacky news and silly media to keep you entertained.

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