One lucky guy!

“Autopsy results and the husband’s story are consistent,” says Allegan County Sheriff’s Lt. Frank Baker.

Baker says Jerry Daniels was cutting a log at the couple’s Otsego home, 765 Woodlea Drive in Otsego, Sunday afternoon when his wife came up behind him.

Lt. Baker says Jerry would not have heard his wife, who likely kneeled down to help him roll the cut log away.

When he pulled the saw from the log it came back and caught Deb in the neck, according to Baker.

“I heard a cry for help, so I came outside and at that time I saw what was going on, and I rendered as much aid as I possibly could,” said David Labonte, a neighbor and deputy for the Allegan County Sheriff’s Department. “I’m glad that based on my position that I was the one that was the first to respond.”

But nothing could help the 39-year-old woman. She bled to death at the scene.

Investigators have ruled the incident as accidental.

Adelir Antonio, 51, was not so lucky.

His audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers. But, as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In homage to Lawn Chair Larry’s aerial adventure in 1982 wherein our beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt attached 45 helium weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch and cut the tether a Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a host of helium party balloons. Larry, instead of drifting lazily above the LA landscape, was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of his weather balloons. Astoundingly, he survived the flight. Adelir Antonio was not so lucky. Paying a nod to Lawn Chair Larry, Adelir, 41, was attempting to set a world record for clustered balloon flight to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers. He did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help–but rescuers were unable to determine his location, since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.

Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest’s body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.

The kicker? It’s a Double Darwin. Catholic priests take vows of celibacy. Since they voluntarily remove themselves from the gene pool, the entire group earns a mass Darwin Award. Adelir Antonio wins twice over!

The rest of the Darwin Awards for 2008 can be found HERE!

Matamoros, Tamaulipas, Mexico(Monday June-2-2008) Seven competitors from yesterdays cyclist race were severely injured after being hit by a drunk driver, one of them died and other three were hospitalized. The drunk driver was arrested after the rest of the participants tried to lynch him.

30 year old Alejandro Alvarez, from Brownsville,Texas, was pronounced dead on the scene, while Alejandro Salvador Tamez, 18, Juan Machaita, 38, and Guadalupe Martinez,, 16, were severely injured.

Cyclists were participating in a race from Matamoros to Bagdad Beach, when drunk driver Jesse Campos, a Brownsville, Texas resident, in his Ford Grand Marquis, license 659-FKF from Texas, impacted seven cyclists, even as they were being escorted by Local Transit Officials.

Funny news story about a person who uploaded photos of “hail” that totally look like ice cubes from their refrigerator. FAIL!