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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
-Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
-Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
-Anonymous

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, ‘What does a woman want?
-Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
-Anonymous

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
-Sam Kinison

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.
-James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
-Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once….
-Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine.
-Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): My wife’s an angel!
Second Guy:.You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.
-Anonymous

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