How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One… men will screw anything
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
What is the main reason Santa is so jolly?
He knows where all the bad girls live
What does Kenny G say when he walks into an elevator?
“This place rocks!”
What do JFK Jr. and a penguin have in common?
They’re both kinda cute, but neither one can fly
What’s the difference between Elvis and JFK Jr.?
Elvis was bloated BEFORE he died
Why didn’t JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight?
He figured he would wash up on shore
Why didn’t the wedding guests at Hyannisport want JFK Jr. to show up?
He was a complete wreck
What do JFK Jr. and Monica Lewinsky have in common?
Both go down easily
What’s the new Kennedy documentary called?
Three Funerals and A Wedding
Kyle & Stan of South Park:
“OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNEDY! YOU BASTARD!”
What did JFK Jr. say when he reached the pearly gates?
I hope I don’t have to take an entrance exam
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love?
“Hole is gonna be really big!”
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids
What do you get when cross a godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can’t understand
Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
They need a map
Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the coin toss?
He elected to receive
What is Iraq’s national bird?
Duck
How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?
Both look out their windows and see rubble
Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
So they can see their Air Force
Why is it twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
You only have to teach them to take off
What is the best Iraqi job?
Foreign Ambassador
What’s the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?
A microwave stops when you open the door
What do people do with broken down cars in West Virginia?
Build a house next to them
What do tornadoes, hurricanes and redneck divorces have in common?
Someone’s fixin’ to lose a trailer home
