FAIL Fun

In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

“I’m afraid I am the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces, “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a length of time, someone asked, “Well, how much does a brain cost?” The Doctor quickly responded, “$5000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.”

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the male brain so much more?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the entire group said, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve been used.”

3 explorers were hiking in the forest when they were captured by natives.

They were taken to their chief, and he said go out into the forest and come back with 10 of the same kind of fruits.

The first guy comes back with 10 bananas, and the chief says, shove them all up your ass without making a sound.

So the 1st guy gets 2 bananas in when he starts screaming, so the natives kill him.

The second guy comes back with 10 berries, and they shove 9 in and are about to shove the 10th in when he starts laughing, and so since he made a sound the natives killed him too.

Now the first two explorers souls fly out of their bodies to heaven and they start talking. The first explorer says ‘Hey dude why did you laugh you could have gone back and told out families what had happened’.

The 2nd explorer replies, ‘Sorry I just couldn’t stop myself from laughing when I saw Ben coming down the hill with 10 watermelons.’

Danny was walking home late at night, through the park and sees a woman in the shadows.

“Twenty dollars” she whispers.

He’d never been with a hooker before, but decides, what the hell, it’s only twenty bucks.

So they hide in the bushes. They’re going “at it” for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them– it’s a police officer.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my vife,” Danny answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” says the cop. “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” says Danny, “I didn’t either, ’til you shine that light in her face!”