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1. Start off with casual conversation.

2. Ask her questions, PERSONAL questions about herself and her lifestyle, and make sure to look her in the eye.

3. Do not initiate physical contact for the moment.

4. Figure out whether or not you want something from this girl from this stage, because it’s about to get good.

5. Give her a wink or a nudge and ask to see her room.

6. If she indicates that it’s upstairs, ALL THE BETTER.

7. Once you get upstairs, lay her down on the bed, manfully.

8. Your goal is right in front of you, but keep your cool.

9. Talk it over with her first. She’ll know what you need.

10. Trace your finger over your pant button, in slow, lazy circles.

11. Remove your pants gracefully. You may want to add a little dance.

12. Now she’s yours.

13. After unzipping her pants, pull slowly from her ankles until the pant is off, making sure not to bunch it; this will just make it more difficult to put on.

14. Start with either the right leg or the left leg.

15. Place your legs in the tubes of the pant, and pull up to your hips.

16. Zipper, button, and you’ve succeeded.


* If the fit is too tight, don’t worry. You’re still technically in them


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